


Seventeen and In Love

by Maraudererasmut



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Coming Out, F/F, Gay Sirius Black, LGBTQ Female Character, LGBTQ Female Character of Color, M/M, Marauders, Marauders' Era, Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 11:01:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16596617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maraudererasmut/pseuds/Maraudererasmut
Summary: Marlene and Dorcas had been friends for years. Living in the Hogwarts dorms did that; it was difficult not to be friends with someone you spent every day and every night with for your entire youth, growing, changing and learning side by side. The only problem occurred when you developed feelings beyond friendship...





	Seventeen and In Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The_Goddess_Eos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Goddess_Eos/gifts).



> So I was looking through (read: stalking) The_Goddess_Eos' Tumblr page and was inspired to write this little thing from one of her posts:
> 
> https://dontthinkonithermione.tumblr.com/post/179768719335/aka-doe-fierce-friend-skilled-in
> 
> If there's interest, I will totally write more about these two! Comment to let me know if I should keep going or just leave it as a one-off!

“Move it, Dork-Ass.”

 

“You want a piece of me, Avery? ‘Cause I've had a fuckin’ awful day and let me tell you, I'd just  _ love _ an excuse to punch someone right now.”

 

Marlene giggled at Dorcas’ response to the Slytherin's attempt at rattling her. Meadowes gave an arrogant smirk before turning to her friend.

 

“C'mon, Marlene. We've got better things to do than humour the likes of  _ him _ .” The way she emphasized the last word, it was as if Avery was a vile creature, hardly deserving of their contempt. Marlene nodded and the two girls headed back to Gryffindor tower.

 

“I love how confident you are, Dor… I wish I could be like that…” Marlene mused as they meandered down the corridor.

 

“Stick with me, girl, and you'll get there!” Dorcas gave a loud, bold laugh as she slipped her arm through her friend's. Marlene began to blush slightly. Girls at Hogwarts walked arm in arm all the time, so she knew she shouldn't make a big deal of it, but for some reason, feeling Dorcas’ skin against hers, radiating fire from within, was intoxicating. 

 

Marlene and Dorcas had been friends for years. Living in the Hogwarts dorms did that; it was difficult not to be friends with someone you spent every day and every night with for your entire youth, growing, changing and learning side by side. The only problem occurred when you developed feelings beyond friendship. 

 

Dorcas was tall, slender, with thick curly hair and dark glowing skin. She held herself with grace and poise, which was hilariously juxtaposed with her crass attitude. She was also talented: the top of her class at Divination, and chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Dorcas had the uncanny ability to make every situation feel lighter, happier, as if everyone around her was perfect just by being themselves. Marlene felt the most like  _ Marlene _ whenever Dorcas was nearby. 

 

Of course, she could never admit any of that aloud to anyone. For one thing, it was social suicide at Hogwarts for a girl to like another girl. One time, a rumour went around that McMillan and Caverty were together, and neither girl was ever able to live it down, despite dispelling the rumours, both literally and figuratively. Both girls were social pariahs, shunned by a majority of the student body. 

 

The other reason that Marlene knew her feelings needed to remain hidden was that Dorcas was definitely, undoubtedly, unequivocally  _ straight _ . McKinnon had seen Dorcas and Black flirting in the past, their quick wits and zesty back and forth obvious results of sexual chemistry. Every once in a while, Dorcas would sneak out of the dorm when she thought the girls were asleep. Marlene could always hear her and Black talking in the common room. It was only a matter of time before they started dating. 

 

Lily was with James. Dorcas would be with Sirius. Marlene was starting to wonder if maybe she  _ should _ allow Lily to set her up with Peter. She'd been avoiding giving Lily an answer all day, unsure whether or not she could develop feelings for Pettigrew  _ after _ they started dating. Part of Marlene  wished that Lily had offered to set her up with Lupin, but Evans had insisted that he was taken. It seemed odd that he'd never introduced his girlfriend to anyone before.

 

“Hey… where'd you run off to?”

 

Marlene looked up into Dorcas’ shining brown eyes, realizing that she had accidentally let her mind wander while they were walking together.

 

“Huh? I didn't run off anywhere, I'm right here!” Marlene joked, but Dorcas raised a single eyebrow skeptically.

 

“Didn't seem like you were here. Where'd your mind go?”

 

It was so hard to lie to Dorcas. Her stare was penetrating, capable of melting away all of Marlene's carefully constructed walls. She gave her friend a sad smile and rolled her eyes.

 

“Just thinking about something Lily said this morning…”

 

“And what  _ did _ Lily say this morning, Lene?”

 

Marlene giggled slightly. Dorcas was the only person who had ever referred to Marlene by that nickname. It felt like something special just between the two of them, and it made McKinnon's stomach flip every time she said it.

 

“Well, she keeps asking if she can set me up with Pettigrew…”

 

“ _ Pettigrew _ ?!” Dorcas couldn't keep the laughter out of her voice.

 

“Yeah, Pettigrew. I mean, he's not  _ that _ bad… he's kind of cute, I guess.”

 

“Oh yeah, sounds like a perfect boyfriend.  _ Not bad  _ and  _ kinda cute _ .” Dorcas chuckled, nudging her friend playfully with her hip. “Isn't he that little twerp that hangs around James and his gang 'cause no one else will tolerate him?”

 

“That's not very nice, Dor…” Marlene didn't know why she was sticking up for Peter; she didn't particularly care for him. There was just something about Dorcas’ insult that rubbed her the wrong way, as if misfits should all stick together and support each other.

 

“ _ He's _ not very nice, Lene. He's never said or done anything kind for as long as we've known him. He's just followed the boys around, all lost and confused, slipping himself in unnoticed and trying to keep close to the most powerful person he can find. He's a rat, Lene. And I don't trust him.”

 

There was something cold in Dorcas’ voice that sent chills down Marlene's spine. Was it possible that she saw something in Peter that nobody else could?

 

“Bluebells,” Dorcas muttered at the portrait of the Fat Lady, causing it to swing open for the girls. “C'mon Lene, let's go hang out upstairs. Lily's probably with her  _ boyfriend _ .” Marlene giggled as she followed Dorcas up to their dorm room. 

 

All five beds were empty, and Marlene couldn't help but notice Dorcas’ subtle smirk, as if she was thankful for the alone time. Meadowes made her way over to McKinnon's bed and sat down, not bothering to ask for permission. Marlene followed and sat down beside her friend.

 

“So… do you like him?” Dorcas asked earnestly, dropping her typical attitude slightly. “Peter, I mean.”

 

“Umm…” Marlene looked down at her hands, twisting a hair tie nervously between her fingers. “Not really, no…”

 

“Then don't go out with him. Plain and simple.” Dorcas said it so matter-of-factly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

 

“But Lily thinks--”

 

“To hell with what Lily thinks. Lily spends all of her time with those boys these days. She always seems to forget about  _ us _ ! It's as if she's not even here anymore. You think she's looking out for what's best for you, Lene? ‘Cause she's not.” Marlene flinched at the sharpness of her friend's tone. It wasn't uncommon for Dorcas to lose her temper, but she was usually kind when she spoke about her friends.

 

“I don't think Lily would do anything to intentionally hurt me, Dor…” Marlene's voice was soft, trying not to say anything that could trigger her friend's anger.

 

“ _ Do _ you like anyone?” The question came so suddenly, it took Marlene by surprise. Dorcas was looking right at her, the expression on her face reflecting worry more than curiosity. Marlene weighed her words carefully. She didn't want to admit her feelings, knowing that it would destroy their friendship. On the other hand, she was never very good at lying, especially to Meadowes.

 

_ Keep it vague. _

 

“Yeah… I do.” 

 

“Oh.” Disappointment flashed across Dorcas’ face for the briefest moment before she recovered. “Well, who is he?”

 

Marlene twisted the hair tie, tugging and pulling on it. How would she phrase her next answer so that it revealed as little information as possible while still telling the truth? 

 

_ Snap! _

 

McKinnon looked down at the broken tie in her hands. Her nervous habit was going to give her away if she wasn't careful.

 

“Umm… it's just a stupid crush, is all. It's not like it'll go anywhere or anything…” Just vague enough to work.

 

“Who is he?” Dorcas repeated, her tone a bit sharper than before.

 

“I… I don't wanna talk about it, Dor.”

 

Dorcas held Marlene's gaze for a moment, as if sizing her friend up, trying to decide how far to push. She broke eye contact and forced out a cold laugh.

 

“Well, I like someone.”

 

Marlene's stomach dropped. She knew what was coming next. _ I like Sirius Black.  _ As much as she cared about her friend, Marlene knew she'd never be able to keep herself together if she heard those words. 

 

“Who… who is it?” Marlene asked in a shaky voice. That's when she noticed it; for the first time in seven years, she saw Dorcas’ finely honed confidence falter. Meadowes looked forward, staring at her bed, a pensive look in her eyes. There was no more attitude, no cheek, no cocky smirk. For the first time, Dorcas looked scared, lost, unsure of what she should do next. Marlene watched her friend as the wheels in her head turned; for years, she had always seen Dorcas as perfect, larger than life, confident and capable in every way. Sitting there on the bed, staring off into the distance, Dorcas looked human. She looked like she was seventeen and in love, wondering how to come to terms with her emotions. She somehow seemed more real in her vulnerability.

 

“I don't know if I should tell you…” Dorcas finally answered, looking back down into her lap, avoiding eye contact. It was unusual for Meadowes to say anything without staring someone down, reading their auras, forming conclusions. 

 

“It's Sirius, isn't it…” Marlene muttered, knowing the truth of the matter.

 

Dorcas looked at her friend and laughed in shock and disbelief. 

 

“ _ Sirius?  _ Sirius  _ Black?! _ No, I'm… I don't like Sirius! I mean, I like him as a  _ person _ , but…” She eyed McKinnon, pursing her lips in thought. “You don't know, do you?”

 

“Don't know what?” Her tone was abrupt; Marlene wasn't in the mood for mind games. 

 

“Sirius is gay.”

 

It was Marlene's turn to laugh. She knew for a fact that Sirius wasn't gay, because he had propositioned her not two years ago.

 

“No he's not!”

 

“Yes. Yes, he is. Gay as a window. Biggest poof in school. How have you not noticed?”

 

Marlene was starting to get angry. Why was Dorcas saying these things? Was this some kind of prank that she was playing on Black?

 

“You sure we're both talking about the same Sirius? The one who's had his way with half the girls in school? The one who tried to snog me in fifth year? The one who you flirt with non-stop on a daily basis?”

 

Dorcas narrowed her eyes and stood up.

 

“ _ Flirt _ with?”

 

Marlene got to her feet as well.

 

“Yeah,  _ flirt with _ . ‘ _ Hey Doe-eyes!’ _ ‘ _ Oh hi Pads!’ _ ” McKinnon imitated their voices mockingly.  “It's so  _ obvious _ that you two like each other! Just shag and get it over with already!” Her last few words erupted as a yell.

 

“I told you, he's  _ gay! _ ” Dorcas was also shouting now, her fists clenched in frustration. “He's dating  _ Remus _ ! They're always together, how can you not  _ see that _ ?!”

 

That was the final straw. Marlene knew that Remus had a girlfriend; Lily had told her as much. There was no way he was dating Sirius, the biggest playboy at Hogwarts.

 

“Stop  _ lying _ to me, Dorcas!” 

 

“I'm not  _ lying! _ ”

 

“You're just making up excuses because you don't want to admit that you like Sirius! Why won't you just tell me the  _ truth _ ?!”

 

Dorcas turned around suddenly, angrily swinging her fist into the wall beside her. The wall didn't budge, but Meadowes’ fist made an excruciating  _ crunch _ , causing Marlene's skin crawl.

 

“ _ Fuck shit fuck!! _ ” Dorcas yelled, cradling her broken, bleeding hand. 

 

“What in Merlin's name did you do  _ that  _ for?! Bloody  _ hell _ , Dorcas, are you  _ okay _ ?!” Marlene had seen her friend lose her temper in the past, but she'd never seen her snap quite like this.

 

“No!  _ Fuck _ , do I  _ look _ okay?!”

 

“Dorcas, we need to go to the hospital wing! C'mon, I'll take you to Pomferey!”

 

“ _ Fuck,  _ Marlene! You're so  _ fuckin’ _ dense!”

 

“Stop swearing, Dorcas. We need to get you to the--”

 

“I don't like Sirius, Marlene,” Dorcas shouted, still clutching her bleeding hand.

 

“I don't care, there are bigger things to  _ deal _ with right now, Dor! You're  _ hurt _ !”

 

“Shut up and hear me out. Then I'll go to the hospital wing, alright? Just… Just hear me  _ out _ for fuck’s sake!  Just let me  _ talk _ !”

 

Marlene looked at her friend, who was completely still, collected and determined to have her way. She took a deep breath and nodded her head.

 

“Fine.  _ What _ ?”

 

“I fancy you, Marlene. That's it: that's the big secret. I fancy you because I'm queer. Queer as fuck. There! I said it! Sirius and I hang out because we have that in common. We're  _ gay _ . I  _ don't _ have feelings for him.” 

 

An oppressive silence filled the room as both girls took in the gravity of the situation. 

 

“Look, Lene, I know it's weird and we're friends. And I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I never wanted to put you in this position, but I just--”

 

Dorcas never got the chance to finish her thought. Marlene immediately lurched forward and pressed a kiss against her lips. McKinnon had never kissed a girl before, but it was exactly how she always imagined it. Dorcas’ mouth was softer than that of any boy she had snogged, and her lips were small and delicate. Blokes had complained in the past that Marlene kissed too forcefully, but kissing Meadowes, it seemed perfect. McKinnon brought a hand up to Dorcas’ face, gently cupping her cheek, before pulling away, heart threatening to beat its way out of her chest.

 

“Now…” Marlene whispered softly to her friend. “Can we  _ please _ go to the hospital wing?”

 

Dorcas Meadowes broke into a soft laugh, her eyes watering slightly, from emotion, physical pain, or perhaps both. 

 

“Marlene…” she managed to whisper, her voice quivering.

 

“Come on,” Marlene said, grabbing her friend's good hand. “Let me get you to Mme. Pomferey.”

 

“Marlene, are you…”

 

“Merlin's beard, Dor! Yes! Yes, I like you! I've had a big, fat, stinking crush on you for years. Now, for the love of Circe, will you please get your hand healed?!”

 

Dorcas smiled softly and kissed her friend on the cheek. 

 

“Only if you come with me.”

 

“Well, let's  _ go _ already!”

 

The girls walked out of the dormitory and made their way to the hospital wing, blushing profusely, huge grins plastered across their faces.

**Author's Note:**

> A lot of this is based on my own experience of trying to figure out who I am as a person. I tried to keep it as read as possible while still staying in the magical realm. I hope I was able to convey some of the frustrating, confusing emotions involved with coming out...


End file.
